Thursday, 16 June 2011

Thursday 16 June

I haven't spoken to Erin for two weeks now nor has she spoken to me.  I had a huge wobbly with the whole family and she was earmarked by me as being the cause of most of it.  I am not the slightest bit concerned, this was long overdue.  I do feel that maybe 'mothering' is not my strength and I won't go to my grave saying I have no regrets.  My home is infinitely  more peaceful though especially now that she doesn't stomp off up the stairs when I walk into a room she is in, she does it on purpose because she knows it pushes lots of my buttons.  Note to self: never buy a house with a wooden first floor!

So this means that my salary at the end of this month is for ME I don't have to share it with an ungrateful teen!


  1. I see no one has commented yet.
    You're a good mother...all the time. We're allowed to make mistakes and be even to be perceived as the baddie. Life is too short to carry on like this behaviour is ok though.
    Even if it is more comfortable that way.

    My 2 cents worth.

  2. Ouch. :(
    Teens huh?? Especially girls......I shudder to think what mine will be like. Sending hugs
    On the plus side.......happy shopping :0) x

  3. uh. horrible. teens girls are the pits. this I know cos i was one. and my tween is well on her way, we had a bad day today but she comes to apologise and we start over.

    you are a good mom, i have seen you parent but you undermine yourself and give them the upper hand.

    its not okay to not be speaking to each other in the long term. take a breather and work things out somehow.

    but still keep your money for yourself. :-)

  4. Oh my advise I can give know my troubled relationship with my girl child:( I feel for you. Never doubt your love for her or that you have not been a fantastic mother.


  5. Oh jeez, girl, I feel for you, I really do. Family can be treacherous territory for many of us, and we all go through good and bad times. Living with people is HARD, no matter who they are! But you must be a good mum---I've met your children and they're all lovely; that doesn't happen by accident, my dear.

    I do agree with Mel that it's definitely time for you and Erin to sit down and sort this out, if you haven't already done so. Home should be a sanctuary, not a war zone. Good luck!

  6. I completely understand where you're coming from. My 10 year old and I are experiencing similar difficulties. I also find being a mother extremely difficult, it doesn't come naturally to me and I do have a very short fuse. Sadly she has the infinite ability to wind me up no end as well. We have gone a couple of days without talking, but you could cut the atmosphere with a knife and that's no way to carry on. I try very hard to be the adult in the relationship, but sometimes my last nerve just snaps.

    I hope it all gets sorted out sooner rather than later, I wish I could wave that mythical magic wand for you. Good luck! Alison xxx

  7. I have only seen you once with Erin but I have been listening for the past year (or is it two, three maybe?) and to me it sounds as if you are a very patient mother. Some times teens need a real wake up call to realise how completely self focused they are. Having said that - I don't do the 'not speaking' thing well. I'm not sure how I would handle the situation but talking would definitely be one way. sometimes teens want to reach out after an argument and they don't know how too. We have to show them that it's ok to be angry, to have an argument, to swallow pride and move on. Hope it works out soon xx

  8. Me again, why does pretty little girls turn into turds the moment they reach their teenage girls? If you have the answer...please let me know if you ever find out;-)

  9. You all make such good sense but the no talking thing is helping me right now good or bad. It seems to defuse me because as I am not talking to her that means I am not shouting/screaming/insulting/demeaning her either.