I received this pic in an email from an old friend this morning and you know how things can just resonate with you? Last week I had a few things to do and people to see and I found myself dreading going out and talking to people. I was convinced that I would get myself into a corner trying to defend my actions and behaviour etc. in regard to leaving my job. I can honestly say that I was a completely different person when faced with both situations, I was terrified so I of course didn't initiate any conversation or much conversation with anyone - FACT nobody even asked me about my job only at the Christening on Sunday my friends hubby said we should have asked you to arrange this (that would have been a good thing) and that was that, I smiled, laughed nervously and conversation over! so now I can get over myself, I feel a lot better.
I am not bouncing back in fact I feel like I committed a crime, I hope this goes away soon. Living in UK has taught me a few things - even VIPs get fired or stand down for what I would consider not worth worrying about and I suppose it filters through to the way people think generally - Do No Wrong!
DH now tells me that the writing was on the wall, that my disenchantment with the place was obvious and it was only a matter of time. Oh dear.
I had the most horrific nightmare last night - so bad that I was too scared to go back to sleep. I was in Afghanistan, suspended under a tank with men being shot all around me but at the same time morphing into partly decomposed bodies and skeletons and even flattened body parts next to my face - totally horrific. I then jumped up - in the nightmare and I was in a cinema 'watching' these atrocities and I shouted please put the lights on I have to get out. I was then followed by about 50% of the audience. I think it may mean - I need to stand up for what I believe in. :)
This pic is of the sofa in the Grand Hall - the room people get married in! When I said something I was told 'what is wrong with it?' seriously not a word of a lie, I was then told that if I had grown up in a 'big country home' (in other words of a different class) I would understand that old was infinitely better than anything new! I don't get it - sorry and neither did the potential brides.
I feel totally ashamed, embarrassed and just plain stupid!!
I have been forced to resign from my job because I had a ranting with the owners wife. I suppose I could say all sorts in my defence and maybe more about that in 2 months time but fact is my family rely on me to hold myself together and I just couldn't do it.
I am still very nervous of putting stuff on a blog so I will keep all the gory details for another time or email me.
So I have two months to spend at home - glorious! But after that I will probably be ready for a new challenge. Yesterday I cleaned out the kitchen drawers and put on the dinner in a slow cooker at 2pm so domestic goddess for awhile.
I was sitting watching TV last night and playing around on my ipad 2 at the same time (multi tasking) and I ended up looking at holiday destinations and other gorgeous stuff to buy online. I said to DH, I wish I had more savings and then we could go on a nice holiday but I just don't seem to be able to save. Scott starts laughing at me and said 'Mom you are sitting watching cable TV playing on your iPad and feeling sorry for yourself - get a grip'. Out of the mouth of babes even if they are 18!
When I lived in SA I remember watching a TV programme about a young guy that wanted to start organic pig farming and as it happens he was also one of Jamie Oliver's best mates. It was one of those trials and tribulations of starting up a business type productions and I quite enjoyed it, the guys name was Jimmy Doherty and I think they called the programme 'Jimmy's Farm' which is the name of his business today. Fairly recently Jimmy came to the estate to film a programme about something completely different and I had a early morning meeting with him and the crew (from Jamie Oliver's production company) and even got to make him a cup of tea in a chipped cup! (That's for another day). I left work that day thinking it was all very surreal really, I certainly wasn't star struck or anything as Jimmy is not exactly a star by any stretch of the imagination - it was just not something I ever thought I would get to do that's all.
We had someone come in yesterday to demonstrate how this gorgeous male barn owl (only 6 months old) can deliver the wedding bands to the groom during the wedding ceremony. Do I look like I am in my element? He was completely stunning and softer than anything I had ever felt before. So now I will be doing my best to 'sell' him to brides (got one already).
It also looks like I will have to pay for the damage to the statues and drive half way across the country to deliver them to a foundry that specialises in restoration of all things hundreds of years old. The guy I spoke to was very sympathetic though once I explained my situation and he promised me he would sort something out. I will keep you posted.
As it happens it is one month since I lasted blogged - sinful I know and completely ridiculous how can anyone be that busy? I am busy but not that busy. I am considering updating my blog from work in my lunch time perhaps even a couple of days a week....let's see.
Where was I.... Scott's party. I had a 'paranormal investigation' in the house (remember I work in a stately home) that same night which seemed like a good idea at the time because I was at 'work' anyway. I was completely exhausted from the party and I then had to wait for the ghost busters to pack up their stuff - cameras etc. Never a dull moment in this job I walked into the massive main room of the house to find the very large dining table - so large that it has never been moved from the room, it was built in the room, spinning off the ground. Yes I saw it with my own eyes admittedly it was 2.15am and a good few glasses of wine later but I saw it. So did my DH so I am not crazy.
I walked in on Monday morning to some long faces and fortunately the owner of the house was away shooting stags up north. Some of the youngsters had done some serious damage to 2 of the garden statues obviously antique (solid lead). They had been wrenched from their plinths and tossed around. This was all I needed. Well its a month later and still nobody knows anything and I am still in the bad books of the lady of the house. The owner and I are back to normal but that also took some pussy footing around and an offer from myself to pay for the damage - which I probably couldn't afford if he pursued it.
